July 13, 2011

reflections

As we get closer to the Big Move, I find myself reflecting on the implications and the absolute HUGE reality and of what this move means for all of us.

I know it doesn't mean for us what it means for many, many people who move to Argentina (or anywhere else in the world) from another country. Some, wealthy and priveleged, are going for business, to rub elbows with the upper crust, and have maids and tons of time on their hands. Others, young and adventerous, are going for a good time and the next adventure. Still others are going from bad to not so bad, actually looking for a better life in Argentina.

For us, it's none of those things. We are not wealthy. We are not young. We know Argentina for us, in the carnal, will not be a "better life". We will most likely (barring miraculous intervention from God himself) be poor, aging, and most likely struggling to adapt to life in the third world - which all equals harder. I'd be a masochist, or just plain stupid, if it weren't for God's call and His commands.

But you know what? I don't care. Because, even though I would love to be wealthy, young, and more comfortable with a "better life" - those things are secondary to me. I care about following Jesus and His commands. I care about making my life count. I care about lost souls. I care about the hungry, the fatherless, the widow. I care about taking all I have been given (which is too much) and using it, not for myself, but to bless others. I care about making a difference in this world for Christ, for Love, for Truth, for Goodness and for Eternity. I care about things that sometimes I wonder if the American church as a whole remembers to even preach about.

This has been a hard several weeks. My husband keeps telling me to be quiet already and don't make any commentaries! (it's that TMI curse I suffer from, it makes me lose friends because I am just too frank for my own good.) I'm trying really, really, really hard to listen to him. I really am.

See, my husband rocks. He's so smart and socially gifted. He has far surpassed me in graciousness that I am put to shame. I hope hanging out with him rubs off on me someday. I really do.

For now, it's just been a hard few weeks. I don't know what I can say except that I follow CHRIST. The Perfect One. He's telling us to go. I'm jumping off the crazy cliff and honestly, at the end of the day, could care less what anyone else thinks about it. Tony says to let everyone else deal with their own problems, you follow God. It's so easy for them, men. Sometimes I wish I were one.

I'm praying these days that God would help me not be a people-pleaser, and I pray that I don't raise man-pleasers or yes-men. Let them please only You. I pray that Tony and I live to only please the Lord, and that our kids always do what's right, no matter what the rest of the world chooses to do. Lord, don't let my kids be men-pleasers! May their lives honor You and you only. Use them to further your Good News upon this earth, that we and they may be messengers of the Hope we have in Christ, offered to all men. Let it be a true hope, a real, genuine, honest-to-God hope that is reflected in their lives, lived out by integrity. A tough one, indeed. A high calling.

Lord, I prayed years ago that you would "Send us!". Now I pray that you send my kids. I pray that my children, the ones you have gifted to me, be used to further your Kingdom here on earth. They belong to you, make their lives count.

Give us strength, grace, courage. Even when people criticize us, desert us, forget about us. You said that you would never leave us nor forsake us. Give us faith. Provide for us, please Lord, provide. Make our lives count for good.

Amen. Jesus.

2 comments:

Katie said...

This post moved me, Chris. May God grant you all you've prayed for and more.

Dori said...

Crying! What do you know? I think I'll email you when I'm not holding a sleeping baby, so I can type without pecking!

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